Figuring out why there is a shortage of pediatricians

Just like almost every public service in Berlin the pediatrician situation is absolute squalor. It’s impossible to find one who picks up the phone or takes on new patients.

We’ve had some bad incidents in the past with sketchy doctors because of this and now I’m trying to figure out why this is the way it is.

  1. Call my lead for a pediatrician
    “We’re very sorry but we can’t take any new patients.”
  2. Call the Kassenärztliche Verein
    “It’s not us who do this.”
    I am told to call the Dachverband der Krankenkassen
  3. Call the Spitzenverband
    “We do not determine how many pediatricians can settle in a given area.”
    The telephone person says they are a temp and do not have any channel up to their leadership. I’m told to call my own Krankenkasse.
  4. Call Techniker Kankenkasse
    ‘Wir sind nicht dafür zuständig.’
    The person says they have the same problem on a personal level in Hamburg but can’t really do anything for me professionally. I am told to call the Kassenärztliche Verein
  5. Call KV (again)
    Reception says that I can get a peds appointment sometime in the future from a different number of theirs (not what I want). I called this number before and they will not give me a pediatrician and that is if they bother to pick up the telephone.

Every instance says “Dafür sind wir nicht zuständig.” and sends me on until I’ve closed the loop.

It’s not the first time that this happens. I’ve previously spent half an hour being sent in a loop between Polizei and Ordnungsamt. This is the way that Germany functions: nobody is responsible for anything and everybody in between can get fucked.

Corollary: if it is impossible to figure out why something is the way it is, it is also impossible to fix it.

To Christiania!

After their long nap, I took both out for a round of recycling cardboard, pumping some tires and buying some coffee beans.

Both of them put on their helmets of their own accord and jumped into the Christiania as soon as we got there. It was clear that they had a destination in mind. They then tried to describe to me which playground they wanted to go to and how to get there lacking most of the vocabulary to do so. Extremely adorable and no doubt in my mind that they’ll be able to describe their wishes here pretty soon as well.

On the way back both kids were singing something in the cargobike while I in the back was trying to vocalize a rendition of Lemon Tree from very distant memory. We should definitely install a sound system in the bike.

Some nice parenting tips from the Inuit.

For example, how do you teach kids to stay away from the ocean, where they could easily drown? Instead of yelling, “Don’t go near the water!” Jaw says Inuit parents take a pre-emptive approach and tell kids a special story about what’s inside the water. “It’s the sea monster,” Jaw says, with a giant pouch on its back just for little kids.
“If a child walks too close to the water, the monster will put you in his pouch, drag you down to the ocean and adopt you out to another family,” Jaw says.
“Then we don’t need to yell at a child,” Jaw says, “because she is already getting the message.”

Highlights for Oh Crap

One year of one child using disposable diapers uses two full grown trees.
What’s worse is very few people dispose of the poop in the toilet before throwing away the diaper—did you even know you’re supposed to do that?
Most moms, probably including you, are reading this book because you know deep in your heart that your child is ready.
There will be a power struggle and for the first time ever, your child will literally be holding all the power, in the form of pee and poop. You will not win.
Some men are superlinear thinkers and don’t really connect with the chaos of the toddler mind. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a situation like this: Mom’s been working her butt off to potty train the kid during the day. She leaves the child in her husband’s care for twenty minutes. The child has an accident. Mom asks Dad what happened, and he says, “I told him to go and he said no.” I think dads really expect that you only have to tell your child that he needs to pee in the potty one time and the child should fully comprehend and comply.
He’s vital to this process, just as you are, so let’s involve him right from the beginning. And let’s understand and validate how he truly feels about this process, yeah?
Kids can smell fear a mile away, and it will either make them fearful or they will eat you for breakfast.
Online news, the ability to Like and Share, blogs . . . all these things combine to make for a fast-paced world. We as moms, in particular, are subject to an onslaught of not only frightening news (kidnappings, etc.) but also parenting media drama, like the infamous Time magazine and the breast-feeding cover. All this media just serves to confuse us and wound our intuition. It also makes us feel anxious, which our children pick up on.
Bottom line: we are moving too fast. We are exposing our children to too much, too soon.
I’ve seen kids learn to meter out pee and poop to get more rewards, and I’ve seen candy create bigger power struggles during potty training.
Logistically speaking, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a preschool or kindergarten that will accept an untrained child.
Day cares are essentially screwing you, especially if you are a full-time working mom or dad. (Though I’m sure you’re used to getting screwed by everything at this point, eh?)
Wearing underwear is simply too confusing for your child in the beginning. The snugness creates a muscle memory of a diaper, and the covering suggests privacy. I can almost bet you that your child will have more accidents if you put undies on her too soon.
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne a couple of times. Mr. Payne was a Waldorf teacher and is so brilliant and eloquent on this topic, I can’t recommend this book highly enough. He says that raising children is like building a pyramid. The widest part at the bottom is the foundation. That is made up of “governing,” and takes place roughly from birth to age six. Next is the middle of the pyramid, made up of a “gardening” phase that takes place from roughly six to twelve years. And last, at the top, is the “guiding” phase, which is the way he recommends parenting children ages twelve to eighteen.
maybe nobody told you this, but one kid plus one kid = like five kids.
Your partner is going to go cuckoo. I promise she’ll return to normal very soon. Get her drunk. It’s okay.
Your role in this is just as vital as Mom’s is. Maybe more. Everyone knows that Dad is a little magic.